Friday, September 27, 2013

Stronger Feelings As a Mother

Let me start by saying that I have always been full of emotion and some things always "got to me" more than other people, but now that I am a mother different things are bothering me more than they ever have.  For example, I can't watch the show Criminal Minds anymore because the topics keep me up at night and it used to be one of my favorite shows, well at least until BK came along.  And any news story that involves children pulls at my heart, where before I used to care, but I didn't feel so strongly as I do know.  Some might chalk
this up to hormones or some type of postpartum depression, but I really think it is my change of perspective as a mother.  For me motherhood has made me shed the emotional armor and feel deeply and real feelings again. In a way,I am able to be the true me again, and it is refreshing. For self protective reasons, I built up this armor over the years but as a BK's Mommy, I think subconsciously I want to teach him through my actions that it is ok to have feelings because everyone does.

Now don't take this to be that I am walking around an emotional mess, because I am not.  I am just able to embrace and own intense feelings (happiness, sadness, joy, and despair).   I am feeling like the Laura I used to know and for once I actually like her.
This little guy-- has helped me be the true me again.

No comments:

Post a Comment